But, what about socialization?

Right now there are all kinds of blogs across cyber space in reference to an article on the NEA (National Education Association) site. I've kept quiet on this matter, but wanted to talk about it a bit tonight.

See, when we first considered homeschooling, we didn't know a lot about it and I'll be the first to admit one of my questions to some homeschooling moms was, "But what about socialization?" While there are no silly or stupid questions, I can see how it can be frustrating for someone to explain this to someone who doesn't understand. Thankfully, my friend knew my heart was in earnest and I wanted to know, not to point fingers, but to determine the best course for my child.

I did not realize what a hot-button topic this was last summer, but now I see it's one of the most-discussed arguments "against" homeschooling by those who are in my old shoes (a non-homeschooler). I can't quote statistics, but can share some very honest and heartfelt revelations within my own home that convinces me my children not suffering in the least and are more open and outgoing, more confident in their own abilities.

We limit extra-curricular activities, but even so, the boys are in Tae Kwon Do and Judo. They both belong to Royal Rangers (a religious form of boy scouts). We get together with the homeschool group, or individual families within the group at least once a month. They see their friends in church and they have several friends in the neighborhood. So, they are in constant contact with children their own age, simply not 10+ hours a day. And we can't forget the multitude of cousins they see on a monthly (sometimes weekly) basis.

They had most of that even before we began homeschooling. What they get now is more interaction with people of all ages and backgrounds. They are no longer afraid to ask questions, even ones that make adults giggle. They go to their older cousins for help or to chat. They show the younger children they meet care and consideration. They have learned to get along with each other better and treat each other with respect and courtesy. Oh, they still bicker, but they are just more apt to get over it quickly and to be more loving.

Toughie had an issue with temper tantrums and being staid and reserved. For a young man, it was so odd. The only things he talked about (constantly) were the things he and his pals chatted about during the few moments of recess and the bus ride. Unfortunately, those things were often violent, the cartoons which talked about demons and destruction and all those negative things that shouldn't come out of a young boys mouth. It was affecting his mood. Since he's been home, he's loosened up, he'll talk with anyone about a lot of different topics, he loves to talk; but more importantly, he loves to be silly. He'd lost that a few years ago. During Christmas break he was overtired from late nights and excitement and he had a mini-tantrum. Barely a yell, a couple stomps. It shocked me because I hadn't seen it in months. Yet, I didn't need to say a word, he realized how out of character that negative behavior had become and calmed down himself, even saying sorry for stomping in anger. WOW.

Roughie is no longer embarrased to read aloud or to share his knowledge or droll humor with everyone he meets. They greet everyone from the postal lady to the cashier at the local grocery to their grandparents with cheerful greetings, knowing that they and their opinions are valued. They ask to learn new things, unafraid of being belittled. German has been an eye-opener, they love to learn it and love to try to outdo each other in it. They are showing signs of coming out of their shells both physically and emotionally. They know they can ask anything and learn it, they know they can meet new people, and while some might not care for them on sight, most people (of all ages/backgrounds) are friendly when given the chance.

Do I think this could have happened had we not homeschooled? Possibly. But I doubt it.

The longer we homeschool, the more I worry about the state of publicly-funded schools. Some people forget that the "traditional" public school system is a relatively new concept in the history of the world. Schooling originated in the home. It still does in a sense. We teach our children from the moment they are born. We teach them love, we teach them to care. And through these, we teach them to care for their fellow man. Children are not born anti-social and I think that sometimes being with peer groups the majority of their young lives makes them anti-social of sort. Sometimes it could be rebellion against an authority figure. It could be they fight constantly with younger or older children. While I do think play is necessary in every child's life, I do not think that their peer groups should be the ones teaching them the morals and ideas (not to mention the new "vocabulary") they carry home. It is a case of the blind leading the blind. Unfortunately, those hard-working teachers cannot be everywhere and handle everything and it comes home. The negativity, the things I'd rather they not know about yet because I think every child has the right to be a child.

So, yes, my children are on their way to being good social creatures who care for their fellow man and treat everyone they meet with respect and courtesy. I have never believed these virtues to be wrong before and do not see them going out of style any time soon.



NOTE: As with all my posts, this is merely my opinion. You may or may not agree. That is your right. I simply ask that you refrain from personal attacks if you do disagree. There are many sides to this argument, as there are in many aspects of life. What is right for me, is not right for you. If I did not agree with you, I would still defend your right to your opinion, and hope you show me the same courtesy. Also, please forgive any errors in grammar or typing, it's very late! :)