The appropriate place to start is to explain why we chose to homeschool. Though the reasons are as varied as the choices in a candy store, the basics are here.
I had begun considering homeschool couple of years ago. At first, I went through the "what harm will I do to my children" phase. Then there was the popular "what about socialization" phase. Anyone who has dithered about this decision knows what I'm talking about--all the little doubts that creep in. I would sit through gatherings and listen to homeschooling friends talk about their experiences and listen to their stories. I still was not 100% convinced it was the correct thing for us to do.
Then my youngest started the local public school.
He began eagerly, enthusiastic to learn. Then as the year went on, problems developed. He regressed into behaviors I hadn't seen since the terrible two's. He started pacing and sucking his finger hourly (it was down to only bedtime). He would have nightmares and just generally was not my sunny little boy. After several meetings with teachers, I heard constantly how my child was not doing what he was supposed to, not staying on task, not listening, refusing to do the work, etc. My son was not learning how to read, so he was moved into Title I reading program since he was behind his peers. Then at the end of the year I was called in for a conference with the teacher. Much to my surprise, the school counselor was also there. The two of them sat on one side of the table and me in a little chair while they attempted to convince me my youngest son had Aspbergers. What?!?
Don't get me wrong, if he has any condition, then I'm all for getting him the necessary help and guidance he needs. Yet, I wondered why my pediatrician had never indicated this possibility. With reluctance, I spoke with the doctor. He suggested we could test him, but he did not honestly believe anything was wrong and that our son was the baby of the family who was used to having everything done for him, and he was a "young" student as well (his birthday is just before the cut-off). He mentioned how a high percentage of boys have trouble adjusting to elementary school--it's just not in their genetic code to sit still that long.
After speaking with my husband, we decided to hold off testing just a bit and see how he did. Over the summer, our son improved. He was once more confident and a joy to be with. He was even excited to begin first grade. We thought that it might be the year things turned around. He was retested, and surprisingly was only two months behind his peers in reading (who decides this anyhow?), so after consulting with the reading teacher, we agreed it was best to keep him in Title I, though he was borderline need for it. Besides, he adored his Reading teacher and so did I. I hoped it would keep bolster his enthusiasm about school if he got to see her a couple of times a week.
The first parent/teacher conference came. His grades were good, but indications were showing that he was once again regressing. We had seen signs at home and talked to a concerned teacher. We were once more given the list. "He's not listening, he's not neat, he's not staying on task, etc.". We thought if we just worked with him more, showed patience and encouragement, things would improve. We were not given much to go on, as his daily reports came home with green faces, indicating good days. Then came the March p/t conference.
This time I had my husband with me. The teacher, bless her heart, was reluctant to talk to us. I have a strong feeling this woman was verbally abused by some parents in the past for stating facts. Don't get me wrong, I'm a protective mama bear when it comes to my children, but I also know their flaws and I cannot help if you won't tell me the problem. So after convincing her to share, she came forth. Our youngest was no longer participating, he was adamant in not doing "out-loud" work, and every day they had to remind him to stay on task. That he was not exhibiting behaviors he should for someone going into second grade the following year. She explained how she constantly had to "remind" him what to do. Basically my son had become a "problem" student.
I'm sure she was nice, and I personally liked her as a teacher, but she had several things against her. She has several of the "problem" students in her class. On top of that, she has 20-25 kids she has to keep on task. No easy feat for me, a mother of three, so I cannot imagine when you have that many to work with. So, I do not hold her responsible for some of it. That said, I do believe the constant negative reinforcement he received made him gun-shy, made him reluctant to join, made him whiny and withdrawn. To once more have nightmares and try to get out of going to school. He was allowing himself to be bullied at school (coming home with torn clothes and bruises and cuts--which I had to call the school about). It just stunned me because this child in particular was my most easy-going and charismatic child.
And you should have heard the excuses he gave me to get out of school! LOL, those I still chuckle over. There were the typical, my tummy hurts, my head hurts and I'm too tired excuses, but then he got creative. My favorite one is still the morning he came down the stairs, pausing dramatically at the top where I could see him. With one hand on the bannister, the other on his forehead he groaned.
"Mom, I can't go to school today. I'm sick."
Chuckling under my breath, "Why not? What is wrong?"
"It's my pressure."
"Your pressure?"
"Yeah." He stooped down, placing a hand below his knee. "It's all the way down here. It's out of my head."
Anyway, the topper of that p/t meeting was that we learned he was no longer simply two-months behind in his reading. He was now an additional four months behind!
WHAT?!?
There are daily reports we had to sign. Notes went back and forth. Even phone calls. Why were we not told about this deficit before March? At that time, there was only about four more weeks of school and we were told that if he did not show immediate improvement in his reading and behavior he would be held back. Obviously, if that's what he needed, fine; but I began to wonder what the school was doing to my baby.
It was laid on my heart to homeschool. I talked to a dear homeschool friend, who told me the hard part was already done--I was home! We were living on one paycheck. After more thought, I asked my friend to pray about it as well. I decided it was time to feel out my husband, who had not been pro-homeschool in the past. We were in our room, talking about the troubles our youngest had at school that day. The end of the school year was only two weeks away and we still had no clue what they were going to do with our baby boy. I remember the moment, as if it were burned into my mind. There we were, laying on top of our quilt talking quietly. The late afternoon sun shone through the windows, leaving the room bright, while on the other side of the door I could hear my children laughing and playing. My husband had just growled his aggravation with the school, and I knew it was the right time, so I broached the subject with a tentative, "I almost wish I had homeschooled him this year." It became eerie quiet as my heart stopped, waiting to see what he would say. I'll be honest, the frightened, unsure part of myself wished he would denounce my statement. But I should have known better. Homeschooling was laid on my heart for a reason, and it now had been laid on his heart. Just as I opened my mouth to change the subject, he shocked me.
"Yes, well, if they decide to keep him behind we will do it."
If I hadn't been down, I surely would have fallen. So we chatted about it, he asked questions and surprisingly, all my eavesdropping had provided some answers, and the rest, I began to search out. Within 48 hours I felt assured enough to proceed and had given him the answers he needed. And the desire to homeschool must have been laid on his heart as well because by the time I had all the answers, DH decided that no matter what, whether they passed him or held him back, I would homeschool. Thankfully we decided, because our baby was passed into the second grade--despite the fact his reading had not improved one whit, and the fact that he received the worst marks all year long for his "behaviors" (neatness, timeliness, etc.).
That was the first step of our adventure into homeschooling.
No comments:
Post a Comment